“This is elegant, this is vulgar…” This is narrow minded and mean, actually.
Nothing grinds my gears more than this video trend. And that’s actually the whole point, it’s pure rage bait. And it works very well. “This is vulgar, this is elegant” is quite classist and often there are some racial undertones. So, to do my part in being part of the solution, and not the problem, let me tell you something: I have a belly button piercing and I wear it proudly.
I’ve had it since I was 16.
It’s a reminder of my crazy youth. It’s a reminder of becoming a woman (and feeling sexy for the first time).
I got this piercing before I had my heart seriously broken, before I had a degree, before I met my husband, built my career, moved my life overseas, got my dogs…
I want to share the story behind this piercing:
I had just broken up with my boyfriend of over a year (first love heartbreak) and started dating a new guy who spoiled me.
He wouldn’t let me pay for anything and was so much fun to be with. I felt like a princess.
I told him I wanted to get it done and he said that he thought that they were “cool”, and that he would pay for it.
It wasn’t super expensive— but I was 16, and $30 was a decent amount of money in my tiny NZ town.
We picked out a sparkley blue banana bar, I lay down on a table, and within a minute, it was done, and then I almost fainted 😂
16 going on 18
No, I did not ask my parents, and that’s the wonderful thing about being in a boarding school in a small town.
The only people who know what’s going on are the boarding school matrons (who’d pass on quarterly positive reports about you, to make their life easier).
I lasted 4 years in boarding school— before constantly running away to be with my boyfriends became too much for the matrons. I then lived much like an international student, staying in the spare room of a local family’s home.
As a teen with struggling grades, I was fortunate to be taken out of public school and put into private school. I landed in a different city, where I had a year to clean up my act and get good grades— so I could go to university and get the degree which helped build my career.
Isn’t it always the women who are polished as adults, who were reckless in their youths? I know many and am yet to find one without an eyebrow raising story from their teens.
Anyway, you might look and judge, “why hasn’t she taken out her belly ring? Doesn’t she talk about being classy?”
Elegance has a stereotype, but it is not black and white. In my opinion, the black and white stereotype of elegance is beyond boring and shows absolutely no personality whatsoever.
You have one life on this planet, do you really want to stick to a made up rule book so that no one ever calls you vulgar?
A word on tattoos.
I don’t have any, but I do love them on other people.
These tattoos, while some people do get them removed, you don’t have to, because they are part of your life story.
As an example, David Beckham is covered in tattoos and he looks like a gentleman.
Elegance really is an attitude and an “over all” look. It’s not something that can be spoiled by one artistic element of expression.
Long nails, tattoos, piercings can often run deep in a persons heritage too.
I’m from NewZealand and the Māori culture is famous for its beautiful tattoos that swirl around the body, telling the story of that person, their family, their culture and accentuating the human physique in the most striking way.
Many indigenous cultures have tattoos.
Having tattoos does not take away elegance.
I know these content creators just want to grow their account, but it doesn’t make the world a better place.
